Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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