I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
