I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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