You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
