i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
