i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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