just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
