Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
