Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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