Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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