clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The uberlube is also flammable
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
