i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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