Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
