Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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