wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
