I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
