drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
