im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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