She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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