How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
