Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
