he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
