your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
