I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
please come you make the beer taste better
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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