Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
