My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
