I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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