kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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