Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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