i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im holly from the hills drunk
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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