let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
