She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
