this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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