I showed him my bush... on skype.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
