Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
