what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
