I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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