its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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