Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I intend to get homeless drunk
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
