just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
