I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize