No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
