i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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