This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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