I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
