I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize