i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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