the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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