I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
