We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
