So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
