Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
