I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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