Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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