just survived the first fart of the relationship.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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