im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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