im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
