4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
That's intense
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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