I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
