ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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