addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
