everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
