I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
